This is a two-part series on dating & money. To read part one, click here.
You’ve both swiped right and after a few messages back and forth, you’ve finally decided to meet for drinks.
When you see him at the bar for the first time, there are a lot of reasons you might be attracted to him—his looks, his muscles, his humor and even his job.
But what if it’s his money that attracts you? Is that any different? Should you really date someone because of money?
According to a survey by Money Magazine, money is the leading cause of fights among couples.
Most couples fight about money more than they fight about household chores, raising children, sex or anything else.
In other words, money is a big deal in a relationship.
For Jennifer, a 26-year old social worker in Los Angeles, that is exactly why she doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with dating someone because of money.
The Case For Dating Someone Because of Money
“Sure, you could date someone for money,” she says. “There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s important—providing for yourself is a necessity and being able to travel, eat well and afford nice things is fun. Obviously it depends on what you are interested in and where you are in your life…You need to be compatible on several levels, but I’ve never heard of anyone fight over having too much money.”
Even if most people wouldn’t set out to date someone because of his or her bank account, there are certainly financial perks that come with being in a relationship.
Hannah, a 24-year old graduate student from the West Coast is surprised these “dating perks” aren’t talked about more.
When Hannah began dating her boyfriend during college, she instantly noticed a decrease in her monthly expenses. They moved in together within the first six months and her rent was immediately slashed in half, but that wasn’t all.
“There’s not really a nicer way to say it. The world is definitely designed for pairs. Insurance is cheaper, rent is cheaper and even travel is way more affordable when you have someone to split a hotel room with.
I don’t know about dating someone because you need money, but I definitely understand why you would date someone for the perks that come with it.
Finances are easier [when you’re in a relationship]. It sucks, but it’s the truth,” Hannah explains.
The Case Against Dating Someone Because of Money
Even if finances are less tight for romantic duos than they are for those who are single, that doesn’t mean that you should necessarily set out to date or marry someone because of that. With the average cost of divorce between $15,000 and $20,000, any savings from “dating perks” would quickly be lost.
According to Ava, a 28-year old marketing director, from the Midwest, that’s probably the best way to approach dating as well.
In the same way your relationship status can change, your partner’s financial status can change as well.
“I don’t think you should date someone because of how much money they have. This is a very changeable thing and honestly a shallow thing to base a relationship on. However, if they have an attitude towards money which impresses you, I think that’s a good reason to date someone. That positive attitude will probably be reflected in other parts of their life.”
Regardless of what you are looking for in a relationship, there are countless reasons to date a person and none of them are more important or valid than the other. Some relationships will fail and others will flourish; there’s no guarantee.
Even though the perfect recipe for a relationship remains elusive, there’s one thing that is certain: you.
Working to increase your own net worth is the one investment that is guaranteed to pay off—regardless of your relationship status.