Why I Am Not Having Bridesmaids At My Wedding

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    Why I’m Not Having Bridesmaids at My Wedding

    1. Jenna says:

      I completely agree with you about not having bridesmaids and I’m glad to hear that I’m not alone in thinking this! After being a bridesmaid in a couple of weddings now, I have felt the financial pressure. The dress, the hair, manicures and pedicures, the make-up, shoes, hotel rooms, etc. The cost really does add up. My best friend is trying to save up to start a family and I don’t want to take anything away from that. Deciding not to have a bridal party definitely takes the pressure off of your friends and lets them just be able to enjoy the day with you. My friend can wear a dress from her closet, do her own hair and make-up, and just show up to have a good time. And if for any reason I do decide to have a bridal party, it will be a small one and I intend to pay for everything.

    2. Melissa says:

      Wow! my head also almost exploded from that advice.
      Yikes!
      It’s great you are forging a new path. We also didn’t have a bridal party but my sister and my husbands brother stood next to us at our wedding.

      I suggested some dresses, but made no requirement.
      We didn’t have a theme or anything. I thought that it would have been a great idea to just have everyone wear some sort of floral dress and then just take a picture with all the women who attended. I never did make the suggestion but still seems like a nice way to get everyone in a theme.

      • Stefanie says:

        That’s a great idea too. I think that weddings need to get back to the root of what they are about – celebrating the love of two wonderful people.

    3. Celina says:

      I think you have the right idea! A few years ago I was a bridesmaid at a destination wedding. Even though I was honored to be in my friend’s wedding there was a lot of pressure to be supportive and participate in everything. I ended up paying for my dress, flight, hotel, time off of work, a bridal shower gift, wedding gift and more. It was fun but I spent a lot more than I wanted to.

    4. Sandra from Toronto says:

      Great post! Chaque’un a son gout (to each his own), but massive wedding parties always baffled me! We did a sort of in-between solution. When I got married, I asked my best friend to be my maid of honour and my husband got his bestie to be his best man. They got to pick their outfits, since there was no need to be matchy match. My friend bought a lovely sleeveless heavy silk camisole and a swirly gold skirt, bought on deep discount after the holidays for a total of about $125. Beautiful and elegant. My hubby and I told our other good friends of our decision to have just one person stand up with each of us at the wedding, and I think our pals were all sort of relieved. Nice small wedding party! I also was lucky enough to have 2 good seamstresses in my family, so I bought beautiful silk fabric and had a simple pure silk long wedding dress made for $500. We just celebrated our 22nd anniversary. I always feel a bit concerned for brides who go overboard with the massive wedding party, the $4000 designer wedding dress, and the $10,000 diamond they cant afford. Unless you can afford it all, maybe you’ve lost the plot? My husband and I had this philosophy: 1. It’s about the marriage, not the wedding; 2. The party/reception should be fun for your guests, not just a showpiece for you; and 3. It isn’t (or doesn’t need to be) the last great party you’ll ever host! So calm down. Really!

    5. Melissa Hunter says:

      This is not a new idea. I got married in 1988. I had one maid of honour, no bridesmaids. She wore a dress that she had purchased for another wedding, fit our colours so who cares? Shoes were a non-issue. We did our own makeup and nails, the hair was a minimal cost. She was my witness, and the cost to her was minimal. We got married in the evening, so no need for a sit down dinner. Rented a community hall and decorated it ourselves. DJ was a wedding gift, midnight supper was a wedding gift, photography was a wedding gift. Made use of an offer from a bridal fair for flowers. We spent maybe $1,000 total on our wedding and it was a lot of fun.

    6. Lila says:

      You know Stefanie, you are so refreshing from everyone else out there in the PF world. No one should have to go into debt for a friend’s wedding or to just get married themselves. I love how caring you are about your loved ones. I think it’s sweet you are thinking of your future with your fiance and how you returned your engagement ring. You really are thinking more than just one special day. =)

    7. […] lot of people have debated online whether it’s OK to have a bridal party because of the financial […]

    8. Maggie says:

      Dear Stefanie, My son and his beautiful fiancé are getting married in October 2019.
      They have done a wonderful job so far to try to keep the costs down, and still have a wedding with close family members traveling to spend Friday and Saturday at the Camp/Resort that they chose. They have decided not to have a wedding party. I’m concerned that no one will then come forward to plan a bridal shower for them.
      What do you suggest?

    9. I opted out of having bridesmaids for this very reason, and, shockingly, it’s actually caused just the opposite problem for me!

      I’ve definitely stressed over money as a bridesmaid before, and that was the last thing I wanted to do to my girlfriends for our wedding. We are keeping the wedding so small anyway, that basically everyone invited IS the wedding party! Why make my girls drop hundreds to thousands on matching dresses and throwing parties for me? I certainly don’t need that nor do I want them to spare any extra expense on me aside from getting to the wedding.

      But one of my very closest friends confided in me that she is feeling really upset and hurt by the situation. I guess she was really looking forward to doing the whole big sha-bang.

      I’m going to try to make some small gestures for my girls during the wedding week to remind them how important they are to me. But, just goes to show, with wedding decisions you can never make everyone happy!

      Elise

      • Stefanie says:

        Good point, you’ll never make everyone happy. One thing I did do was spend the entire wedding day, getting ready, taking pictures and such, as though we were a ‘traditional bridal party’. Just didn’t require all the matching dresses, bouquets and such.

    10. […] This enjoyable content below and more fantastic content from Stefanie can be found at this website. […]

    11. […] A third of those who’ve been in a wedding in the last two years regret the money they spent on doi… […]

    12. Your article is so inspiring! Thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing from your heart. It will help others see that it’s never too late to make a change. I have many choices for wedding planning.

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